I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
