Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
