I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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