On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize