My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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