yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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