He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
