So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
