He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Randomize
