i don't plan on having that self control this summer
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
