I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
