i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
