you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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