dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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