you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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