Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
