My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
