Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
