we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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