Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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