Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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