i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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