Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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