Four minutes until I can fart!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have aggressive nipples.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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