Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
People in love make me want to vomit
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
