At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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