Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
