I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
