at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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