How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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