:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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