More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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