Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
