I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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