we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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