in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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