yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
