I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
