I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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