When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
