Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
