dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
