a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
