That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
