we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
