Taylor Swift is so right about you.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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