If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize