YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize