just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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