she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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