Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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