So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
