I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
