So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize