According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
