Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
