honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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