I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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