How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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