Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
