Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
