no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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